Have you been put in an awkward position where two of your teammates seem to argue on one thing for hours on end?
Debates are an essential part of professional discussions, adding depth and richness to the exchange of ideas. However, it is crucial to strike a balance, as excessive debate can lead to headaches and hinder progress.
You might want to keep the tips from this week’s Monday Mavens edition up in your sleeves so they can help you cross the bridge when you come to it.
Debates, the spice of discussions
Just like sambal in your favorite local dish, it’s good to have some but too much could cause headaches. To some extent, exchanging and bouncing off of each other’s ideas is needed for a rich discussion, but when you negate the other’s opinions too much it could backfire.
To keep the discussions going healthily, keep in mind the following tricks:
- Pick your battlesAvoid being “the girl who cries wolf” and only pick areas that affect substantial, meaningful, and important outcomes when you pursue disagreement.
- Keep it impersonalBy not “you-ing” your colleagues, you’re disagreeing based on facts, experience, prior team successes/failures, and your peer’s track record on similar projects.
- Find a common goalIf your coworker thinks that the two of you are headed in the same direction, disagreements about how to get to the common goal will be less contentious.
- CompromiseAt work, you can’t freeze in place and do nothing just because you haven’t found a perfect solution that fits all. You will need to agree to disagree on some aspects.
When difference turns into conflict
Discussions might escalate when two people start to go head-to-head against each other on one particular topic. At this point, conflict might arise if one or both parties refuse to compromise.
There are many conflict resolution methods that you could explore. Here are some that could help de-escalate heightened discussions:
- Never Suppress a Workplace Conflict. An unresolved dispute quickly will quickly become the elephant in the room and only serves to breed deep-rooted resentment and frustration between team members.
- Ask for Opinions in Advance of a Team Meeting. Forward planning is key. You’ll have a balanced discussion that incorporates everyone’s opinions and ideas, and each team member will also have enough time to think about their position.
- Give Everyone a Chance to Speak. This is a good way to distribute heat as the conflict is happening. Let everyone, including those not involved in the main argument, coin in their thoughts. It’s also important to elevate the quieter ones.
- Set Boundaries and Dampen Workplace Arguments. Make it clear that raised tones, aggression, or personal jibes have no place in a constructive discussion and will not be tolerated. Give your team a cooling-off period if needed.
As a bystander, how should you intervene?
Katie Gingerich, founder and director of youth peace education program, TREE, has shared the 4 approaches she believes to be helpful when witnessing conflict especially among young people.
These approaches can also be converted into reconciliation strategies at work, especially as the third person:
- Curious and calm. If the conflict is between relative equal (similar age, gender, language spoken, actions), do your best to stay neutral.What you could say: “I’m noticing your conversation has gotten louder. I’m wondering if each of you might need a break.”
- Distract. When seeing your colleagues in a conflict with escalated emotions, you might want to shift their focus to physically remove them out of the situation.What you could say: “Hey, I’m wondering if you can help me decide between these two options for our upcoming project.”
- Let it play out and follow up. If the parties involved seem to be mature enough, you might just allow it to happen as they might play out positively.What you could say: “I heard the two of you talking to each other earlier. I’m wondering what was happening. Would you like to talk about it?”
- Focus on support. If the conflict is one-sided and appears to be harming one of the parties, focus on supporting the target in this situation.What you could say: “I actually think your way to solve that issue was clever.” (or any other affirming compliments, rather than calling out the perpetrator)
How To Ensure Healthy Discussion
To ensure that discussions remain healthy and productive, here are some additional strategies to consider:
1. Effective Communication: Clear and concise communication is key to navigating debates professionally. Use active listening techniques, such as paraphrasing and summarizing, to ensure understanding and avoid misunderstandings. Engage in dialogue without dominating the conversation, allowing others to express their thoughts.
2. Research and Preparation: Before engaging in a debate, thoroughly research the topic at hand. Gather relevant data, facts, and examples that support your viewpoint. Being well-prepared strengthens your arguments and enhances your credibility during discussions.
3. Respectful Language: When expressing disagreement, it’s crucial to keep the discussion impersonal and focused on the issues at hand. Avoid using derogatory or inflammatory language towards your colleagues. Disagree based on objective facts, your own experiences, and the impact on project outcomes.
4. Pick Your Battles Wisely: Not every disagreement needs to be pursued. Choose to engage in debates that have a meaningful impact on the project’s success or address substantial issues. Prioritize discussions that contribute to achieving common goals and strategic objectives.
5. Seeking Common Ground: Instead of emphasizing differences, work towards finding a common goal. Understanding shared objectives can reduce contentious debates and foster collaboration. Frame disagreements as alternative paths towards the same outcome, focusing on finding the best solution together.
6. Embracing Compromise: In a professional setting, it is often necessary to find middle ground and compromise. Recognize that a perfect solution that satisfies everyone may not always be attainable. Be open to acknowledging alternative viewpoints and finding mutually acceptable resolutions.
7. Mediation and Facilitation: In situations where debates turn into conflicts, consider involving a neutral third party to mediate the discussion. A mediator can help facilitate communication, encourage collaboration, and guide the resolution process.
8. Conflict Resolution Techniques: Explore various conflict resolution methods to de-escalate intense discussions. Encourage open dialogue, where each team member has an opportunity to express their thoughts and ideas without interruption. Set boundaries for respectful behavior and provide a cooling-off period if tensions rise.
9. Bystander Intervention: As a bystander witnessing a conflict, you can play a crucial role in defusing the situation. Adapt Katie Gingerich’s approaches for conflict resolution among young people to the workplace:
– Stay curious and calm, offering a break if tensions rise.
– Distract by shifting the focus away from the conflict.
– Allow the conflict to play out if the parties involved can handle it maturely.
– Provide support and affirmation to anyone negatively affected by the conflict.
By intervening effectively as a bystander, you contribute to a healthier and more collaborative work environment.
Remember, productive debates should lead to growth, enhanced understanding, and improved outcomes. By implementing these strategies, professionals can navigate debates with professionalism and foster a culture of constructive dialogue in their organizations.
For more insights on conflict resolution and how to respond as a bystander, read the full article here. Stay tuned for our next edition of productivity insights coming next Monday!
