Finding the sweet spot between being yourself and staying professional 🙍‍♂️

Image source: Getty Images via bbc.com

If you grew up in the 2010s, you might be familiar with the Disney Channel show “Hannah Montana” where the main character, Miley Stewart, is a middle school student who is also living a secret life as the pop singer Hannah Montana.

Some of us might relate to her to some extent. At work, it feels like we are required to show a different personality by putting on a ‘mask’ and switching to a ‘work voice’ to fit in and/or be seen as professional.

But, can we choose to stay true to ourselves without bearing the negative consequences?

The five-step path

Oftentimes we are told to ‘bring our most authentic self’ to work. It can get a little confusing as to how we can do exactly that. This five-step guide taken from the HBR will help you start your authenticity journey:

1. Build a foundation of self-knowledge

   Solicit honest feedback, ideally a 360-degree review, from coworkers. You can also consider your upbringing, work experiences, and situations that test your comfort zone and force you to reflect on your values like volunteering.

2. Consider relevance to the task

   Team development efforts often fail because we try too hard to foster intimacy rather than focusing on task-relevant disclosure and social cohesion. Be clear that your goal in revealing yourself at work is to build trust and better collaboration.

3. Keep revelations genuine

   Making up stories or exaggerating parts of a narrative may seem like a good idea, but it is easily discovered and can do a lot of harm. Instead, try to find real disclosures that still capture the emotions of the situation and convey empathy.

4. Understand the context

   Make an effort to investigate national and organizational norms about sharing so that you’ll know when it’s best to keep quiet. In any context, but especially one that involves teammates from other cultures, find what level of candor is expected.

5. Delay or avoid very personal disclosures

   Sharing too much personal information too quickly breaks all sociocultural norms of behavior, making one appear awkward, needy, or even unstable. Take careful note of how open others are before offering significant disclosures of your own.

Learn more on how you should be yourself carefully at work in the full HBR piece here.

Authenticity over faking it

A lot of being “true to yourself” at work depends on the context and atmosphere that each workplace brings.

One thing for sure that needs to be present to allow the right amount of authenticity is psychological safety—an environment where people can freely take interpersonal risks by sharing their true concerns, detecting errors, and admitting mistakes.

Some important points we need to write down when opening up at work and amp-ing up authenticity are that:

• Authenticity is relational. It needs to be combined with emotional intelligence and respect, listening and understanding. It requires perspective taking, not only from ourselves but from others.
• Authenticity is a personalized journey. For some, our values line up with those of our environment. For others, being authentic is a bit risky. Learn from those practicing authenticity, but mind that it should always be on your own terms.
• Authenticity is based on core values. While some of our values are malleable and can change over time, others are core to us and are very difficult to shake. Authenticity is about these values, rather than smaller decisions around the office.

Find out more about conformity and how you can be more authentic at work (in the right way) in the Berkeley University of California article here.

Downsides of being yourself

There is a reason why ‘putting on a facade’ is the norm for most at work. Having professional limitations is key to creating a productive environment. What are some of the other downsides when someone is being ‘too true to themselves’ at work?

• Blurred boundaries

  A recent research suggests that people who have been promoted are at risk of failing in their new role if they have a fixed idea of their own ‘authentic’ personality rather than adapting to their new status.

• Self-monitoring

  In real life, people can use authenticity as an excuse for staying in their comfort zone. When faced with change, some will resist and say that ‘that’s not me’ and use the idea of authenticity to not stretch and grow.

• Earning your stripes

  Another research suggests it’s only as you progress up the career ladder that you have the power and opportunity to be authentic. It takes time to earn what sociologists call “idiosyncrasy credits”. Sometimes it takes a 30-year process.

• Taken for granted

  Part of the danger in simply telling people to ‘be yourself’ is that they might think they need to just show up as themselves and that’s it, when it means that you should engage with others so that they get a sense of who you are and your values.

Read more about the critical points of authenticity at work via the BBC article here.